The Kind of Heartache I Long For

I was in line at Wendy's during lunch. Just a junior in high school with my friends trying to "act cool." As I stood in line I stared at such a familiar face waiting by the entrance, not sure if she remembered me and not even sure if I was certain I knew her.

But I thought I'd try anyway. An older man walked up to her grabbed her hand and helped her out. That's when I knew for sure it was them. My Uncle Tom and Aunt Mary.

He embraced me with a hug and a smile...a real big smile. She smiled too but seemed a little confused as to who I was. He told her,"It's Hilda's daughter! The youngest." She smiled politely and nodded.

I look back at that and now know at that time she had been through a stroke. That's why she was puzzled when I approached them. He stayed by her side and had taken care of her every single day as he promised -- through sickness and in health.

We all called him "Uncle Tom." That's who he was, even though in my early teenage years I found out he was actually my grandma's little brother. So really he was my mom's uncle -- a great uncle to me -- and that's for sure!

He was there when I said bye to my grandma. It was so nice to see a part of her walking around lifting others spirits. He said bye to his sister, but cradled us in conversation. In the midst of the sadness that day he told me,"Come home to El Paso so we can watch you here! Where your family is!" I was a news reporter in Amarillo at the time. I smiled, but never saw myself coming back home to work in my hometown.

My Aunt Mary's condition dwindled as the years went on. He never left her side. He took care of her and in his 70s, it took a toll on him as well. Tending to his wife for every need. Every single need. Real love. They grew old together and a couple years ago we lost her. But he lost a piece of him that we would never get back.

I've been through my share of heartache. From a high school sweetheart to a college crush and all hurt the same. A weight on my chest like I'd never be able to breathe again. But I found you get stronger. You move on. That's because it wasn't meant, because I believe soul mates last forever.

My Uncle Tom died of a broken heart this morning. I stared and watched my mother tell me sometimes you just miss your wife or husband sooo bad your heart just goes. Tears gracefully rolled down her cheeks. I held my mom and stared at my dad sleeping on the bed next to her.

If ever there's a heartache I long for: It'll be one where I've lived my whole life, but leave this earth because my soul mate takes my breath away.

My grandma and my Aunt Mary have their husband and brother back.

I hold onto to the card my Uncle Tom wrote me while I was in Dallas. In his obscure and messy cursive handwriting, that after a while takes a uniform pattern just like my grandma's did, he tells me to keep on pushing in my career.

Well, Uncle Tom, I'm back home in El Paso. I'm certain you're watching over all of us. After all, that is what family is all about.

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."
Matthew 11:28 KJV

"The righteous cry, and the Lord heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles. The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit."

Psalm 34:17,18 KJV